2011年4月13日 星期三
Describing A Person
We are searching for a man called John, who is my grandpa because of our carelessness, he got lost with us in Shin Kong Mitsukoshi. There are some features about him. First, he is average height, plump, and eighty years old. Also, he wears a white T-shirt, a jean, and a brown down jacket. Besides, he wears a glasses, a watch on his left hand, and a cross neckle in front of his chest. What's more, he has a bald head and a pair of double-fold eyelid, and some wrinkles spreading around his face. Last but not least, there is a 6-centimeter scar on his right cheek. If you see him, please call the number 0912-345-678.
訂閱:
張貼留言 (Atom)
第一句We are searching for a man called John, who is my grandpa,because of our carelessness, he got lost while we were shopping in Shin Kong Mitsukoshi.
回覆刪除第五行是不是少打了t (cross necklet/ necklace )
禿頭baldheaded/bald
We are searching for a man called John, who is my grandpa 這句到這裡就可以句號了
回覆刪除because放進去是完全錯誤的語法喔
然後你可以用It's because...開頭
第二行的with us 也是錯誤的
沒有他跟我們失蹤了這種意思吧@@~
第四行牛載褲要用複數唷 :->
六公分的疤很長
你阿公的臉這麼大xDD
加油:-*
第一行We are searching for a man called John, who is my grandpa because of our carelessness...可以改成We are searching for a man called John, who is my grandpa. Because of our carelessness...
回覆刪除第五行he wears a glasses 直接寫he wears glasses就好了
其他的還ok 哈!
because of our carelessness 這句B要大寫喔喔
回覆刪除不過建議你寫項映萱說的It is because~
he got lost with us in Shin Kong Mitsukoshi.
with us省略會更順喔
a glasses不用a喔
Last but not least要加the喔last but not the least才對
然後嬸嬸居然連刀疤的長度都寫出來了xd
he got lost with us in Shin Kong Mitsukoshi.
回覆刪除with us像是你們也一起走失了
Besides, he wears a glasses
a pair of
名字寫一下吧
好詳細的描述 6-centimeter scar
We are searching for a man called John, who is my grandpa because of our carelessness,放在這邊是錯誤的喔~到grandpa就好了~如果你要加our carelessness=>because of大寫就好囉~
回覆刪除疤痕感覺很長~有點嚇人~=ˇ=
We are searching for a man called John, who is my grandpa because of our carelessness, he got lost with us in Shin Kong Mitsukoshi.
回覆刪除自己的外公你會直呼他的名字嗎?而且這具結構不對,我覺得開頭可以變成這樣:
We are searching for my grandpa whose name is John. He got lost (with us 後面都說是"我們的疏忽"這個應該不用了) in Shin Kong Mitsukoshi because of our carelessness.
特徵很多想的很詳細,我覺得很棒!
覺得前面可以換種方式說,感覺比較像在找小孩~
回覆刪除中間把特徵描述的很仔細!!
改一下錯誤就好了~
>~<
形容的很詳細~
回覆刪除但可以加上走路有沒有駝背等等...
一些明顯的老人的特徵!!!
和多家一點警張感!!!
故事會更酷喔=)