I am looking for an apartment to share near campus, together with my friend. I saw two descriptions of apartments on the Internet. There are two large bedrooms in Fairfax Apartments whereas there is only a bedroom in CAMPUS APTS. There are air conditioned, furnished in Fairfax Apartments. Other than that, there is unfurnished, but that is available immediately in large modern building. In Fairfax Apartments, there is no pet allowed. To the contrary, in CAMPUS APTS, pets allowed. Last but no the least, the rent in Fairfax Apartments is $1250 a month and all utilities included, however, that in CAMPUS APTS is only $900 a month and plus utilities.
After comparing with two apartments, I think I will know which one I would like to live.
I am looking for an apartment to share near campus, together with my friend.
回覆刪除這句的share跟together感覺有點重複!
I am looking for an apartment near campus, which can share with my friend.
To the contrary, in CAMPUS APTS, pets allowed.
這句怪怪的~
To the contrary, pets are allowed in CAMPUS APTS.
各段前面可加些連接詞喔~~
這篇的比較很不錯=)
To the contrary>>On the contrary
回覆刪除Last but no the least>>Last but not the least
比較的還漫清楚的
只是要表明出來你選的是哪間喔~
列點都很清楚
回覆刪除但還是要表明你要的是哪間喔
很順暢
倒數第6行 pets allowed
回覆刪除是pet are allowed
2間公寓的資訊 出現得有點突然 可以加上There are some differences between them.
然後句子之間要加些連接詞才會比較順暢
To the contrary, in CAMPUS APTS, pets allowed.
回覆刪除這句有點怪~感覺每小句都斷斷續續的><
After comparing with two apartments, I think I will know which one I would like to live.這句話不能當結尾說~還是要明確表達你自己的立場會好喔><