2011年5月28日 星期六

Express an opinion-1

  In the high crime rate society, the punishments become crucial, and the issue that if the death penalty should be abolished is necessary to be discussed.  Although many people insist that death penalty is should be abolished, I strongly believe that the punishment should be reserved because the penalty would deter people from committing crimes.  Some people think that it is harsher to serve a life in prison.  However, the counterargument is that it makes criminals pay the ultimate price and sufferers could be appeased.  In addition, no one can argue against the fact that the penalty was reserved, and the order in the society would be more peaceful because it rids society of menaces.  It is for all the above-mentioned reasons and more that I believe the death penalty should be reserved.
張貼者： 於

9 則留言:

  1. XUAN (13)2011年6月4日 上午8:34

    harsher>>hash

    大致上沒什麼錯誤
    只是盡量不要查字典
    因為這些單字如果自己不懂的話
    讀者也會讀的很辛苦xD
    盡量用自己的方法寫出來唷:)

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  2. 爾雅2011年6月4日 上午10:32

    第四行that death penalty is should be abolished
    多了一個is
    其他的還不錯XDDD

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  3. 靖苡2011年6月5日 凌晨12:40

    is should be abolished
    xDDDD


    "只是盡量不要查字典
    因為這些單字如果自己不懂的話
    讀者也會讀的很辛苦xD
    盡量用自己的方法寫出來唷:)"

    對!!!!我一直想說只是不知道如何表達=ˋˋ=
    映萱剛好說中我得心聲~
    你都會用一寫很難的字，你應該要用所學的字寫作
    除非真的不知道，不然考寫作時是不會有字典的唷~

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  4. 玲儀2011年6月5日 凌晨1:27

    有些字詞我不知道是不是真的可以這樣用

    看到樓上的回應正好是我想說的 :>>>

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  5. 佳穎2011年6月5日 晚上7:00

    作者已經移除這則留言。

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  6. 佳穎2011年6月5日 晚上7:14

    and the issue that if the death penalty should be abolished is necessary to be discussed.
    我覺得把if換掉改成or not會比較好喔~比較順暢~
    --->and the issue that the death penalty should be abolished or not is necessary to be discussed.

    Although many people insist that death penalty is should be abolished.
    這句多了一個is喔~

    Some people think that it is harsher to serve a life in prison.這句可以換個寫法才不會那麼的長喔~
    -->Some people think it harsh to serve a life in prison.

    接counterargument(用來反駁的論點)這個單字我覺得有點不通?
    因為上面Some people think that it is harsher to serve a life in prison.這句意思不是有些人認為在牢獄裡度過一生很艱難嗎?所以下面接用來反駁的論點與意會很奇怪，這樣會誤導別人喔
    整篇架構還不錯~
    線再看到嬸嬸你就想到夕霧的飛吻:))kiss you:">

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  7. 惠芳2011年6月6日 凌晨4:46

    Although many people insist that death penalty (is) should be abolished
    is多寫了=)

    這篇舉例和述說比以前清楚~
    篇幅大小也剛剛好~

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  8. 珍儀2011年6月6日 清晨5:55

    Although many people insist that death penalty is should be abolished
    -->Although many people insist that death penalty should be abolished

    no one can argue against the fact that the penalty was reserved, and the order in the society would be more peaceful because it rids society of menaces.
    -->no one can argue against the fact that if the penalty was reserved,the order in the society would be more peaceful because it rids society of menaces.

    有些字都好艱深唷~不過整體來說還不錯呢

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  9. 曉芸2011年6月11日 凌晨2:19

    the punishments become crucial, and the issue that if the death penalty (should be) abolished is necessary to be discussed. Although many people insist that death penalty is (should be)abolished, I strongly believe that the punishment (should be) reserved because the penalty would deter people from committing crimes.
    這幾段連用很多個should be~會讓讀者在看的時候會有點膩喔~
    如果可以試著變化一下句型會比較好喔~

    我覺得你有事這要使文章漂亮而使用比較沒看過的生字~
    其實我覺得這樣是可以的喔~
    只要你之後能夠把它用在其他地方的話~
    畢竟一直重複使用一些字也是很煩的~
    我相信你只要能斟酌使用~
    之後也可以把它們內化變成你自己的唷^口^

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