Getting married is a dream to every girl. But do you know the effects behind it? In my opinion, the first is I have to left my parents, and establish a family. Also, I can’t depend on my parents. Instead, I would do everything by myself. Additionally, all I should do is to learn live with another person, coming from different family. To sum up, it is for all the above-mentioned reasons and more that I believe I will go through more and more different experiences.
But do you know the effects behind it? 這句很好，很切題~~
回覆刪除Additionally, all I should do is to(去掉) learn (挖XD 這邊要to 哈哈我在演什麼xDD) live with another person, coming from different family.
最後To sum up, it is for all the above-mentioned reasons(用effects比較切題唷) and ...
Getting married is a dream to every girl.
回覆刪除是不是用for阿~
all I should do is to learn (how to) live with another person
這樣會讓文意更清楚喔~
這篇有點短~
可加上一些結婚的好處~
例如establish a (new)family後可加上有小孩等等~
其他部分也可加上能學習照顧別人等等=)
這樣不但能擴展篇幅~
還能讓文章更豐富喔><
all I should do is to learn live with another person=>learn how to live~
回覆刪除這篇篇短呢~~
我覺得有點弱喔~
detail增加比較好喔~
the first is I have to left my parents-->to leave XD
回覆刪除all I should do is to learn live with another person-->all I should do is learn how to live with another person.
然後有點短呢~可以增加支持句來豐富文章~
to後面是加原型喔!!
回覆刪除to leave~ :>
然後文章的篇幅可以增加優:>
第五行all I should do is to learn live with another person 應該是 all I should do is to learn how to live with another person
回覆刪除然後這篇文章有點短耶... 再多寫一些他的影響會更完整
I have to left -->I have to leave
回覆刪除learn to live with
這篇有點少呢~可以多寫一點
第一行應該不用侷限在女生 可以改成everyone會更客觀唷
回覆刪除the first is I have to left my parents, and establish a family.
>>the first is that I have to leave my parents, and start a new family.
Additionally, all I should do is to learn live with another person, coming from different family.
這個another person是指誰??
如果是你老公的家人這樣應該不只一個人吧@@
但如果是你老公 為什麼你感覺像是文成公主被逼嫁要去另一個陌生的環境一樣xD