Giving reason - My Favorite Holiday
The Lantern Festival, which is a meaning, best-known, and standing for Chinese culture. More than this, the Lantern Festival is my favorite holiday. On the day, each of our family would make rice dumplings including various color such as red and white, and then we eat those all together. Further, we appreciate festival lanterns. In addition, there is a amusing activity─ riddle game, in my opinion, which is most interesting. Last but not least, family reunion is the most important part. This is why I like the Lantern Festival.
專有名詞或節慶日前沒有冠詞唷
回覆刪除meaning >> meaningful
standing >> symbo
More than this這句的意思看不懂餒..
various color >> various colors
we eat those all together >> we had a wonderful mael together
those all感覺很奇怪 不像是作文有點像是日記了=_=寫的太白話
Further >> Furthermore
riddle game, in my opinion >> 無連接詞 可在game就直接句號換下一句
which is most interesting. >> which 沒有跟上一句的名詞連接 無法構成關代~
整篇有點單調喔
感覺像是條列式..
可以增加更多內容
The Lantern Festival, which is a meaning, best-known,and standing for Chinese culture.
回覆刪除-The lantern Festival, which is a meaningful and best-known holiday, stands for Chicese culture.
-應該要用meaningful才對
In addition, there is a amusing activity─ riddle game, in my opinion, which is most interesting.
-要有連接詞.可以改成
In addition, there is a amusing activity- riddle game, which is the most interesting for me.
第一行The Lantern Festival 不用the
回覆刪除第五行and then we eat those all together 改成 and then we eat all of them together比較好喔~
第六行In addition, there is a amusing activity─ riddle game, in my opinion, which is most interesting. 這樣寫的話 which 代表的是前面的opinion 這句改一下吧 XDDD
My Favorite Holiday(好多人寫這個唷~~)
回覆刪除The Lantern Festival, which is a meaning, best-known, and standing for Chinese culture.
你的AND是對等連接詞唷,所以前面是形容詞後面不能接動詞唷
而且這句沒有主要動詞耶
所以直接寫成The Lantern Festival, which is a meaning, best-known, stands for Chinese culture.
Further, we appreciate festival lanterns.
應該是Further, we go out to appreciate festival lanterns.
in my opinion, which is most interesting.
忘了加the
in my opinion, which is the most interesting
Last but not least, family reunion is the most important part. 這句應該再多說一下為什麼是最重要的
例如可以和家人聚在一起,不然會覺得情緒突然就斷了
This is why I like the Lantern Festival.
說了很多點所以是these are
大家都寫新年,終於看到一個不一樣的了
感覺比較新鮮~
which is a meaning, best-known, 應該要改meaningful:具有意義的會比較好喔
回覆刪除there is a amusing activity. a-->an :))
which is most interesting. 少了the喔
Last but not least-->last but not the least
是說reason有點少呢:">
The Lantern Festival, which is a meaning, best-known, and standing for Chinese culture.=>The Lantern Festival, which is a meaning, best-known,stands for Chinese culture.
回覆刪除More than this=>感覺怪怪的~
改成moreover~會不會比較好~
and then we eat those all together=>then we will ~
in my opinion, which is most interesting.=>in 可以直接打開頭
Last but not least=>last but not the least~
我覺得可以在每一個論點後面多加一點描述喔~
不然這樣會略顯單薄~
第五行Those→them 阿all不要
回覆刪除→倒數五In addition, there is a amusing activity which is the most interesting for.
Further後又來個In addition 痾 不太好
內容太空洞,像釋倒數第二句你可以解釋一下之類的不然直接跳結論句好快~
rice dumplings好像是餃子~
回覆刪除riddle games喔~
In addition, there is a amusing activity
這裡用amusing有點奇怪!可以用interesting!
題材不錯!很新穎~
不過可以多加一些細節的部分!